The eyes have it.

Well hello there!

Let me tell you, it's been one hell of a week over here. 

Everybody got ill. Baby, toddler, hubby and moi. If there's anything I can tell you, it's that there's no greater hell on earth, than two dishevelled, barely functioning parents, in charge of grumpy, ill kids. Horrible. Just bloody awful. 

To add insult to injury, a week before my opticians appointment to get new glasses, I get an eye infection. To give you context - I wear contact lenses daily and thanks to my inability to look after a pair of glasses, I have been coasting without. To give you an idea of my vision without help, imagine a camera lens, now smear it with Vaseline and that's halfway to describing how visually impaired I am. For two miserable days I wore one contact lens in the 'good eye,' quietly fretting that I wouldn't be able to drive my sister to her birthday weekend getaway, I've organised this coming this week. 

Thankfully in a burst of inspiration I remembered I had an old pair from the 00's buried somewhere in the garage. I cannot tell you how infinitely grateful I am for sight, even if the frames make me feel like I'm 14 years old again (and not in a good way). 

Having given myself eye strain on the days I didn't have my old glasses, I can't say my sartorial choices have been all that inspiring. I did however find this olive green faux fur coat on Vinted for £20.00. Annoyingly I think it might be a Primark coat, the label had been snipped which I find really abhorrent if done so on purpose. I'm not adverse to buying Primark second hand but I expect it to be waaaay cheaper than the store as it's fast fashion and not made very well. My husband is convinced this isn't Primark as he thinks the quality is too good - I'm sceptical, as I recognise the label font, but that being said I am really chuffed with the feel of this coat. I'd been scouring the second hand apps for a faux fur coat, and hadn't come across one this colour so even if I have been duped, I'm going to chalk it up to experience and allow myself a win because I love it!

The dress is my favourite 'Devonshire Lady' from the 1970s that I won years ago off eBay. I love it, but I don't think I'll be able to wear it again for a while as I found it nigh impossible to breast feed in.

Despite all feeling pretty rotten on 5th Nov, we traipsed behind our house to the famous field (it has been a meeting place dating back to the Medieval times) and watched our town's firework display. Alongside a Guy Fawkes procession with talking history, there were vendors selling hot cider and mulled wine, as well as a funfair and music. Unfortunately two unhappy kids and night blindness thanks to only one working eye, we managed an hour before retreating home. Ironically I got the best photos from my garden - lesson learnt - stay home! 

Motherhood has it's peaks and troughs and whilst there's been some lovely moments ciphered in-between the harder ones, overall I've got to say the last week has been an endurance test. One of my best friends whose also a new mom recently said that she thought motherhood would bring out the best in her (it has), but in actuality, she felt like it had just amplified the traits she didn't like about herself. I get that, I really, honestly do. This week I've beaten myself up feeling like I'm doing a shoddy job because I'm not an advert for Montessori. It's hard to get to the end of your day and not only feel disappointed in yourself but then guilty because you think you've let someone else down too. 

What this week has taught me is that I am waaaay too hard on myself and thankfully I'm surrounded by goodhearted people that have been able to retrieve my from my guilt vortex and remind me that I'm doing a good job. Perfectionism is a callus, I'm slowly trying to wear it down but sometimes it gets the better of me. 

You may or may not know I am also a french bulldog momma! This is Oz, our old man. He's done everything from stand up paddle boarding, skateboarding, has ridden the tube all over London and has even worked for Battersea Dogs home. He never gets as much attention as he'd like these days (don't feel too sorry for him he gets a hot water bottle every night and steak when his Dad shares), but I couldn't talk about my life without including him! He's been on most holidays with us and has visited several prisons across London when I used to deliver responsible dog ownership courses to inmates on behalf of Battersea. We love him, even though his flatulence could blow trees down and lately in his old age he's started peeing out of excitement! 

Right I can hear a baby crying, I'd better get back to mom duties! 

Love Soph 

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