Style Diaries: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly!

 Fashion you can buy, but style you possess. They key to style is learning who you are, which takes years. There's no how-to road map to style. It's about self-expression and, above all, attitude.

-Iris Afpel 

I thought it would be a fun excursion to look back at some of my sartorial choices over the years- who doesn't like a giggle at past style mistakes! I believe personal style is a slow unearthing, it takes years of getting to know yourself and truly understanding your lifestyle, to home in on what makes you feel the 'youest, you.' Whilst being well-dressed is a wonderful thing, to quote Iris Afpel, it's not life threatening! Fashion can be frippery, but its also an art form and as a writer, I find a great deal of inspiration in the stories people tell about themselves in the clothes they chose to wear. I find a person wearing galoshes and walking boots just as interesting as the person in vintage Anokhi on the silk road. Both are telling me about their lives, their personalities and their interests. I find it utterly fascinating. 

Recently I've been having some lovely compliments about what I'm wearing from strangers and new acquaintances in the small town I've moved too. I've dressed for myself for years but its always nice having someone say a kind word about my outfit. Especially because my style is truly a reflection of my personality and choices, rather than something superficial like my body shape or the size of my boobs! 

My go to hippie dress, vintage waistcoat and Moroccan jewellery, a kind of uniform for me these days, but I haven't always been so put together! It has taken a while to get this style, there's been a lot of faltering steps and getting it wrong when I've tried to 'follow fashion' or emulate a style which is too far removed from who I am at my core. So without further ado...

Exhibit 1. Y2K Hippie 

Tell me it's Y2K without telling me its Y2K...

So I'm a 90s kid becoming a teenager in the early 2000s and lets just say its an interesting time for fashion... Well there's the low rise jeans for a start (which were never kind to a girl like me who has an hour glass shape), there's a statement t-shirt, probably from New look and the bandana and square glasses combo- is well - it just is. 

Around this time I'm really digging hippie style, but having no real grasp of materials, brands and £3 pocket money, this is what I can afford! Notice the Indian bangles and friendship bracelets, which were a staple for me for much of the 2000s and whilst they're parred down now, the girl hugging me is still my best friend! 

Not all of the 2000s were a style disaster, I thought I'd include some pieces which are still very much in my wardrobe. The waistcoat (thrifted) and wooden beads courtesy of my mom are still in my wardrobe today. Whilst I like the jeans in this photo, in reality they didn't fit me very well and didn't flatter my hips at all, I was never a friend of low rise jeans! 

Exhibit 2 "Look mom I bought everything from the souvenir shop" 

In my defence I got to know the vendors in the various places I travelled to and wanted to support their small businesses...by buying everything they were selling. In case you can't tell from my t-shirt, I'm in Senegal. I lived and worked in a surf camp there for a few months, loved it, lost my money, fell in and out of love very quickly and bought a lot of souvenir clothing! Not a great look for me but glad my money went to local businesses! 

Oh god. Make. It. Stop. I know in 2023 how this looks - braided hair, the tie dye top, the so desperately wanting to look hippie that its like Glastonbury threw up on me...In my defence I people pleased my way into having those braids put in. I'm in Gambia for a university trip and the guide Abou, (who I became friends with), mentioned his sister was looking for work and could she braid my hair. I said yes because I felt like I couldn't say no and I regretted those braids for the entire week I had them in. I kept them in purely out of politeness. 

Don't do that. 

Exhibit 3 "Its vintage dahhhling." 

Can you even call yourself a millennial if you didn't at some point  try to do the classic tea dress, head scarf, pin up look at least once?" Sometimes, I got this look right, in fact, I got it so right on a vintage bike ride event in Birmingham city I got an award for my outfit (typically can't find the sodding photo anywhere)! When it went wrong though, it went really wrong! Ultimately whilst I liked this style it wasn't me, the preening and effort required to get the hair right and the perfect make up just didn't fit my lifestyle. It also takes a lot of money and as I never had the 'right' pieces it always looked a bit off, take for instance the 80s belt paired with (at the time) current items which had a 40s/50s vibe. 

Exhibit 4 "Did I tell you I surf." 

In my mid twenties the next big love of my life - surfing- came to the fore and with it surf and skate culture. I was still trying to look hippie but my style took on a skater chick edge which was...interesting. On a whole it wasn't the worst thing I've ever tried to do, but with a tiny pay packet being spent on actually getting to the waves I didn't have a whole lot of money to spend in Roxy or Billabong. The result was fast fashion meets inherited skate shoes and ultimately it just didn't really flatter me. 

I've got a lot of love for this version of me, this Sophia was so plucky. She was navigating the wilderness of a mid youth crisis, trying to move out of her parents house and recovering from heart ache. Surfing for that portion of my life saved me and the carefree, throw on a pair of jeans, and a jumper was a nod to the life I thought I wanted. 

Exhibit 5 "I want to be a hippie." 

I love late 60's early 70s fashion, from Stevie Knicks to Dolly Parton, there was so much innovation and the era had a massive impact on me growing up in terms of music and style . Whilst nowadays I feel like I've found my groove paying homage to this era without looking like I'm in fancy dress, this wasn't always the case! My desire to 'look' hippie led to a LOT of mistakes and ultimately trying too hard, as you'll see from the evidence below. These days I'd call my look 'boho/hippyish/ 70s inspired or just what I like.' 

The head scarf, the earrings, psychedelic top not to mention the shoes. Too much is going on! I also for years attached so much emphasise on long hair = hippie. I LOVE long hair on other people, but actually on me, I don't think it suits me all that well. Never say never, I often swoon over long haired girls and wish mine was longer too, but ultimately I'm letting go of old ideas that long hair is super feminine and should be maintained at all costs! 

I'm in my early 20s here and this is probably the nearest to something I'd wear today. That dress was unbeknownst to me actually vintage Anokhi from the 1970s and sells in excess of £300 these days. I ended up donating it to charity during a mad clear out and it's been  one of the biggest regrets of my life letting that dress go! I found it recently on eBay selling for ££s and literally wanted to cry hahaha! 

I call this look 'love child of a hippie milk maid with a PR assistant.' I know what I was going for with this look but it just well, it doesn't work does it?! Again I'm trying to look hippie but I've paired a cute vintage top with what can only be described as trousers for the office. 

Exhibit 6 Somewhere along the way I found myself 

'Being an individual takes effort. Most people are pretty lazy. And that's OK! I mean, there are more important things than fashion. If it's going to stress you out to have a sense of style, don't do it. The important thing is to be comfortable so you can get on with your life.'

- Iris Afpel 

Somewhere along the way I found myself, but then again, we're constantly changing so I'm sure in a few years this version of me is going to seem funny and nostalgic too! Here's what I like at the moment; early 70s vintage, textured curly hair, All about Audrey dresses, things I can easily breastfeed in and witchy vibes (think practical magic). I'm sure this will evolve but this uniform of boho dress, cowboy boots, Moroccan jewellery and wavy hair feels like its been a staple for a long time now so I think I've found my groove, the style that feels the 'most me.' 

The above photo was end of 2017ish (I think), it's the outfit I think which best nods it head towards the kinds of things I wear now. I'm wearing a vintage dagger collar cowboy shirt off Oasis market in Birmingham and the vintage sunnies are a charity shop find. Its also a really happy time in my life, I've just met my husband and I'm falling in love! 

And now: Wife, mother, writer, mental health worker, occasional surfer, friend and vintage lover! 

Hope you've enjoyed this trip down memory lane! 

Lots of love 

Sophia x