A friend of mine has compared my worry about returning to work, (after ten months of maternity leave), akin to Sunday evening blues x 100000 and frankly I can't think of a better way of explaining the inertia I currently feel! With a few days to go before I'm officially back in the office, I've been a jumble of nerves and of course, grieving the time I'll lose with my lovely Marina.
I thought second kid in, it would be easier returning to work, but actually it feels harder. This time I have mom guilt for needing to go back earlier and knowing our much loved 1-1 time, sans toddler (who goes nursery two days a week), will be sacrificed for time in the office. I ordinarily love my job, I work in mental health and have fabulous colleagues, I know the passion will resume, but right now I am, to quote anchor man 'in a glass cage of emotion.'
Having bored all my friends silly with my worrying, I've been held and heard and am in a much better head space having had some time to process thanks to their kind words.
So here's what I've been up to in my last week of maternity leave:
Our local market town has an annual vintage car rally in aid of local charities and the procession of 250+ cars go straight past our house! Here's a few of my absolute favourites!
This guy was an absolute sweetheart and didn't mind having his photo taken!
The 1960s Minis were numerous and are always a firm favourite of mine!
After the parade, all the cars park on the field behind our house and the festival begins! As our town is big on sustainability, there was a used bike sale and my very lovely husband treated me to a gorgeous mountain bike for £45! All I need now is a helmet and a seat for my littlest kid and we'll have as many bike adventures as we can handle!
Whilst it was gorgeous weather and a lovely festival, my toddler was not in the greatest of moods which we resolved with some good old fashioned bribery in the form of ice cream! I'm wearing my new to me Whistles brown dungarees via Vinted which I snatched up for £15. They're unbelievably comfortable and perfect for running errands in or having a lazy day around home.
I also found these Boden trainers for £17.00 which I plan to wear skateboarding as I needed some comfy skate trainers (my others being in holes which I've fixed and glued numerous times). I realise how I've made myself sound like I know what I'm doing skateboarding, I really don't I'm just an enthusiastic novice!
In a random stroke of luck I also found these mint condition Joanie denim dungarees for £15. Both dungarees were more than I usually like to spend on second hand clothes but I know how rare it is to find these good quality dungarees from these brands so I didn't hesitate!
Being as I'm going through a bit of a whimsy goth phase, when I found this gorgeous velvet dress for £9 I couldn't resist. It's too heavy for summer but I look forward to being able to wear it to death in winter!
I know, I know it's looking a bit like a haul and I hate the excessive consumerism of hauls! Hear me out, I'd got a little spare this month that I wanted to put towards getting a few bits for work and I also needed to get some shoes for my toddler, whose feet have had a massive growth spurt. That being said I'm definitely cooling it on Vinted for a while, I've been picking up parcels that often at my local pick up point that the workers there have been teasing me about my spending habits!
I found these beautiful Vans on Vinted for Eniola and was so chuffed at their price and excellent condition. Seriously parents, look on Vinted for kids shoes, a lot of them are in pristine condition because kid's feet grow so quick! I also got Eni some Clarks shoes but haven't had chance to photograph them yet.
In other news this week I officially gave up reading (436 pages in), Lucy Score's 'Things We Hide From the Light'. Lucy is a great writer and the way she constructs a love scene is an absolute art form- but I really struggled with the cool girl trope of the main character Lina. She's described as having 'subtle curves,' which immediately gave me the ick and waaaay too much emphasis was given to how her butt looked in leggings, going up and downstairs. Lina's appearance is constantly described whether its from pert boobs, to hard abs to the point it gets boring and her 'disinterest in relationships,' (although is explained via a childhood trauma) just reads like Gillian Flynn's cool girl monologue (it's in Gone Girl and its EPIC). Life's too short to read books that bore you!
I noticed my phone usage was creeping up too and whilst my phone insists I'm down 24% on average, I don't want my Instagram detox to be replaced with Facebook and other hapless apps thanks to a book I just don't want to pick up!
This week I met my endlessly fascinating artist friend Adelle, at her beautiful caravan pitch, overlooking a gorgeous stretch of river. She's inspired me to investigate getting my own caravan as their reasonable price tags and endless possibilities for adventure seeking, has reawakened the traveller in me and I'm busy plotting how to make this a reality. Tomorrow I plan to visit Halfords to enquire about having a tow bar added to my car and I'm number crunching the possibilities of buying my own second hand caravan. I'm so excited at the prospect of packing the husband, kids and dog into the car and heading off on a weekend beach retreat, or trekking up to the Lakes for some mountain walking. When we get confident driving with a caravan I can even see us being intrepid enough to try Europe by road. The possibilities are endless! For now my 'Make the caravan dream a reality' list looks like this:
1. Although your car past its MOT its got some advisories...get these fixed. Oh and get it serviced!
2. Go to Halfords and enquire about having a tow bar fitted. E.g. how much!
3. Get back to work and start saving! Budgeting around £3000-£5000 for a decent second hand caravan.
4. Do a Caravan club course (£174/£200) on how to attach and actually drive with a caravan attached!
Other than plotting my caravan getaway I've been loving my 'Call Tyrone,' headscarves. Every time I wear this style my husband starts singing Call Tyrone as he thinks I'm giving serious Erykah Badu vibes! She's an absolute hippie GODDESS so as long as I'm appreciating and not appropriating I love the comparison.
Also Happy World Bee day! We celebrated our lovely bees at our local library learning about the importance of pollinators and doing some arts and crafts in their honour.
I can't remember if I mentioned last time our lovely Ozzie had two days in the vets thanks to gastrointestinal haemorrhaging. He gave us a bit of a scare but is back to his cheeky self! Our wallets are a lot lighter and we've got the nail biting wait to see if the insurance will cover the procedures but we're very happy to have him home.
Last but not least, (and to finish off a VERY long blog post), my local library have come up trumps and managed to find me the next in Alice Hoffman's Practical Magic series, 'Rules of Magic.' Its already a compelling read and I can't wait to sink my teeth into it.
Well we've got a walk in the woods about to happen so see you soon!
Love Soph x
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